Do you remember a time when all you needed to eat food in a restaurant was to be hungry and have money to pay for your meal?
It’s as if the world isn’t strange enough these days, that people must add an extra layer of craziness to either overkill an issue or make themselves feel better. I am, dear reader, talking about the way the world is opening for business during a pandemic. It strikes me that those last few words, opening for business during a pandemic, are crazy enough in their own right. But new rules mean new areas where people can wield a little bit of power over others.
The Cyprus government, during the initial lockdown last year, put the onus on the individual to prove they were allowed to be out during the lockdown. If I wanted to go out for food shopping, or go to see my doctor, or dentist then I had to text a certain number on my mobile phone stating passport number, postcode, and a code for why I was going out. I would then get an okay or refusal. If the text back was an okay, I would be allowed three hours to do what I wanted to do. Shops (except food shops), restaurants, and all public venues were shut so in reality there wasn’t a lot one could do anyway.
Now, in a bid to get the economy moving, the Cyprus government have allowed myself and my fellow citizens to go to shopping malls and have a meal in a restaurant. However, we must be double vaccinated. I will have to show proof I have been double vaccinated. The onus is now on the venue to check if the person entering their premises are indeed double vaccinated. If you aren’t double vaccinated, you are not allowed into the venue. That’s no problem to me, I have the certificate in my wallet. Today being Sunday, I decided it would be nice to have a traditional British Sunday roast in a restaurant I have never been to before. That was my first mistake, trying to be adventurous in the middle of a Pandemic. Not only did the restaurant owners insist on seeing my vaccination certificate, but he also wanted to see my passport.
Okay, I let that pass, proof of who I am and all that. The food was great with one exception, there was no choice. It was beef or nothing! Okay, nine out of ten for that. Now, dear reader, how do you make a Piña Colada? Hands up if you don’t know. Well, as it happens, I do know.
1 oz Coconut cream
1 oz White rum
3 oz Pineapple juice
Blend the above with crushed ice until smooth.
Pour into chilled glass.
Garnish with a Maraschino cherry & Pineapple slice.
You do not make a Piña Colada with ordinary cream, Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur, and a garnish with a slice of orange. Why would anyone advertise a cocktail when they patently don’t know how to make one? Seven out of ten.
Just to add injury to insult, the restaurant in question did not take plastic, so I had to drive six kilometres to find a cash machine to get cash out. Why? Why open a restaurant and not tell your potential customers you don’t take card, only cash? I have no problem paying with cash, so long as I know in advance. Six out of ten.
And finally, having to reverse out of a car park to turn round to leave, in the only road into the car parking area was just so annoying and downright dangerous. Five out of ten!
Yes, dear reader, this is a rant. All this time in lockdown and I’ve managed three meals in three separate restaurants and this last one was just one meal too far for me. I think I’ll quietly go back into a self-imposed lockdown where I don’t need a passport to eat food.
Copyright © Tom Kane 2021
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